|A Note to the Reader:
My friend Betty recently wrote me a series of e-mails, in each of which she inquired, “How are you?”. Each time, I sent my standard response, “fine”. Finally, she wrote and asked me, “How are you really?”. So I told her. After reading my uncharacteristically open and honest reply, she wrote me back and suggested I post it on my website. She felt it might resonate with others who have had life experiences similar to mine. It is with that hope in mind that I have posted the e-mail below. It is not a poem or prose or a thought piece. It is just a note to a friend -- a brief moment of shared pain and perspective.
| How am I?
That used to be simple, but has become complicated
and difficult for me to answer.
The reality is that I am in deep pain over having to watch
my mother slowly leave me. Also, after 25 years on dialysis, my body is steadily betraying me. It is like aging multiplied by 10. It has been hard for me all these years, but now it is even harder, because I've lost Laura,
I'm losing my Mom, and I'm losing the battle against
the diseases that will inevitably defeat me.
Yet, I remain content. I'm still passionate about life,
I love my family ferociously, I enjoy helping people, and
I draw a measure of joy every day by trying to live a life with meaning.
That's how I am. I prefer to just say "fine", but that is not a real answer. I don't really like to give a bogus response, but I also don't like to burden folks with the real response, for indeed everyone has
their own sack of rocks to carry, no?
Though life is very hard, I feel truly blessed and that's ... how I am.
Having good folks like you to share life with helps, too.
|“Accept that life is sometimes hard, unfair, and painful – then be joyful and live life to the fullest!”
|from David's aphorisms|
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